When Hate Wins, We All Lose: A Call for Peace & Leadership

Dear iWoman family,

Although I usually steer clear of getting too political, this week, I write to you not just as the founder of iWoman, but as a mother, a Black woman, and a human being trying to make sense of the senseless.

This week’s fatal shooting of conservative figure Charlie Kirk has left our nation shaken—and deeply divided. While I did not, and do not, agree with Kirk’s views or the ideology he advanced through his movement, I feel compelled to speak from a place of empathy, not vengeance. Because regardless of one’s beliefs, any act of gun violence is a tragedy. Why must we kill? Why must we hate? 

Kirk, a polarizing public figure, leaves behind a wife and two children. As a mother, it hurts to imagine the pain those children will endure—especially the knowledge that one day, they may see a video of their father’s violent death. And that’s what makes this moment so sobering.

I admit that, like many others, I wrestle with conflicting emotions. Kirk and his movement have amplified narratives that are not only misinformed, racist, and misogynistic but, frankly, dangerous—especially to the Black community. His remarks questioning whether a Black pilot is qualified when he sees one on his flight enraged me personally. My own son is pursuing a career in aviation and has an IQ higher than 96% of the population, yet, you will judge him based on the color of his skin? To see someone casually sow seeds of doubt about Black excellence is painful. And his disparaging comments about Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson—calling her a “diversity hire” despite graduating magna cum laude from Harvard, while he dropped out of community college—felt like an assault on every woman of color who has worked twice as hard for half as much recognition.

And yet, I still cannot and will not celebrate his, or anyone being assassinated over their beliefs. That is not who we are as women. As Michelle Obama once so powerfully said, “When they go low, we go high.” That is not just a slogan—it’s a daily challenge. And yes, Kirk and his dangerous rhetoric attacked her too!

No one captured the complexity of this moment more beautifully than Dr. Bernice King, daughter of the late Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. In a poignant message on Instagram, she wrote:

“It saddens me that Charlie Kirk’s children will likely one day view a video of their father being shot. No child anywhere should lose a parent in such a hateful, callous way.”

Dr. King, who lost her own father to an assassin’s bullet, understands more than most the cost of hate. Her words are a timely reminder that even in our pain, we must work for peace. Her call to action is clear:

“We need mature leadership, compassionate action, and nonviolent strategies for thorough, sustainable change.”

I would add: If we turn a blind eye to the growing epidemic of gun violence in this country, then we are complicit in its continuation. If we refuse to talk about who is accessing guns—and why—then we are failing not only our communities but our future generations. Mental health, political polarization, unchecked anger—these are not someone else’s issues. They are ours. All of ours.

And here lies another danger: In death, Charlie Kirk’s message will likely only be amplified. His most loyal followers are already promising that “things are going to get worse.” That is deeply concerning. Now, he becomes a martyr—for what, exactly? For harmful rhetoric that divided more than it united? For a platform that spreads fear and misinformation?

As difficult as it may be, we must not stoop to that same level. We must not become what we are fighting against. If we allow hate to win—even under the disguise of “justice”—then we all lose.

Let us not forget that the family of the alleged shooter, 22-year-old Tyler Robinson, whose own father reportedly turned him in, is also in pain. He allegedly wanted to die rather than face what he had done. 

So I ask you again: Who wins in this tragic situation?

No one.

Not the victim.

Not the shooter.

Not the families.

Not the nation.

We all lose when we let hate win. As Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. famously wrote, "Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.”

Let us, as women, continue to lead with truth, power and empathy. Let us be brave enough to hold space for multiple truths. Let us be the healing force this world so desperately needs.

With love and power,